Dating and Marriage

Choosing someone to spend the rest of your life with does not depend on the length of time you have spent with that someone. Lengthy dating or that magic number alone does not determine one’s eligibility for marriage.  I do agree with most people that the length of time a dating couple has been together has no much bearing in measuring how long a couple’s relationship would last, BUT I do believe that it is very important to accord yourself that time to get to know a person before stating a commitment for marriage, which naturally requires time, and effort.

I, for one, respect the sanctity of marriage. Marriage to me is a responsibility not only to yourself or to your spouse but also to the society and to God. This is the very reason why I consider DATING necessary in one’s journey to marriage. Dating provides an opportunity to the involved parties to get to know each other before the man would fall on his knees and ask “Will you marry me?” and the woman to give an answer that may alter her life forever . It is during this stage that the parties are supposed to discover each other’s character, beliefs, principles and personality. After seeing the best and the worst in each other, each party decides whether his/her love is firm enough to accept the other’s flaws and imperfections. If not, the better option is to end it. What’s the point of keeping someone if in your heart you do not accept his entirety? God knows it’s only a matter of time before toleration takes its toll.  However, if the parties are convinced that their love and commitment is strong enough to make the relationship go the distance, proposal and engagement follows, and then comes the most crucial stage, MARRIAGE. Once the parties attached their signature on their marriage contract and are declared as husband and wife by the authorized solemnizing officer, they forever bind themselves to live upon the vows they made to each other.

According to some couples I spoke with who have been married for 20 years and more, maintaining a marriage is sometimes gut-wrenching. They said marriage is akin to a ROSE. With proper care and tending, the roses’ petals remain crisp and pleasing but with little care and attention, they begin to whither until the thorns take over. Of course, the thorns they say have always been there but it’s the beauty of the rose itself that makes the thorns seem inexistent. In marriage, the couples must strive to maintain the marriage by imposing upon themselves the RESPONSIBILITY of keeping it healthy. Also, they compare marriage with that of a sailing BOAT. If the boat is flimsy, it will eventually succumb to the consistency and strength of the waves leaving its passengers floundering in the water while a boat of strong materials can last amidst the waves. Same through with marriage, the one with strong foundation will survive trials and devastation while that of a weak foundation crumbles. The solid foundations for a lifelong marriage they said are LOVE, TRUST, FIDELITY and COMMUNICATION. These are initially developed in the dating stage and are eventually strengthened during the duration of the marriage. The marital responsibilities of the contracting parties must be completely performed by both, BECAUSE at the end of the day, the success of marriage is dependent on the amount of effort and the willingness and commitment of the spouses to make the relationship last through bad and good. 

We have witnessed from real-life stories that a failed marriage has negative side effects not only on the spouses who go through it but more so on the children. So, before we subject ourselves to the bitter-sweet life marriage may offer, it is imperative that we take caution in making life-altering decision of getting married because once we enter into it, we assume the full moral obligation to make it last.